iGB Diary: Name's not on the list, Star speakers, Man bites dog, The art of seduction, Supersonic in-play

27 June 2014

The Diary has been working overtime in Amsterdam's coffeesh... err, at the iGaming Supershow to bring you your weekly dose!

Your name’s not on the list
The UK Gambling Commission pulled a classic this week when it published its Transitional Statutory Instrument document. Applications have to be in by 16 September and the legislation will implemented on 1 October so don’t miss the deadline people. The “Interpretation” blurb at the start explained that “‘the 2005 Act’ means the Gambling Act 2005” and so on, until the “relevant state”. The GC said this referred to “an EEA state, Gibraltar, the Island of Alderney, Tasmania, and Antigua and Barbuda”. But wait, where’s the Isle of Man? An oversight by the Commission, quickly rectified and corrected. But hey, at least Tasmania’s on the list!   

The draw of the big name
The iGaming Super Show that took place in Amsterdam this week was a great success: interesting, well organised and brought together many top speakers. Unfortunately one or two had to pull out, as happens during these events, so when H2 Gambling Capital founder Simon Holliday had to cancel at the last minute many delegates were left disappointed. The moderator announced the cancelation a few times, but credit is due to the bwin party executive who sat through all the afternoon panels on Day 1, including a near two-hour presentation of UltimateBeat, an in-depth look at what went on during the Ultimate Bet/Absolute Poker super-user scandal of 2008 (summary: UB/AP founders had access to all player accounts and cheated their customers out of thousands of dollars). As the few people in the audience chatted about the various issues at the end of the film (it was around 6pm by then), the plucky exec piped up and, just to be sure, asked: “So is Simon Holliday not presenting today?”
Moderator: “No, as I said he’s had to fly back to the UK.”
Exec: “Is he coming back tomorrow?”
Bless. Top marks for hanging in there bwin party exec!

Biting stuff
You’ve got to hand it to Luis Suarez. A great player who seems incapable of controlling his err, animal urges... after biting incidents in Holland and England, the Uruguay striker does it again and gets himself a four-month ban for biting Italy defender Georgio Chiellini during the two teams’ Group E crunch match. Moral of the story: he has cost Betsafe a few bob, is out of the World Cup (your manager will be over the moon Luis!) and 888 Poker is reviewing its sponsorship deal with him. He will also miss a quarter of next season’s Premier League and three Champions League matches. 888 said it would “not tolerate unsporting behavior (sic)”: 

But that’s ok Luis, you’ve left your mark where it matters! 

Connect, pat and break-in… excuse me?
We never thought we would see the day that when Calvin Ayre had trouble with the art of seduction. Just head to its ‘girls’ tab or simply take a look back at Ayre’s conquests on Google and you’ll see just how the fairer sex are drawn to one of the industry’s most notorious characters. It was slightly surprising then when we noticed CA had interviewed a dating expert and author of “The Noble Art of Seducing Women”, who was also a speaker at this week’s iGaming Supershow no less, on how to hook up with the ideal partner. “I have a blueprint or a structure that I give to my client that creates a perfect interaction or, in your case, a commercial. It’s five phases—Impact, Connection, Pat and break-in, Attraction spikes then the Close,” said Kezia Noble, winking seductively and, incredibly, with a straight face. Either way, it sounds both wonderful and oddly painful. For affiliates, however, this generally involves large volumes of fluorescent liquid being drank at breakneck speed by hundreds of affiliates... who’ve been drinking since 10am.... or haven’t stopped from the night before. And as for the Art of Seduction, those five elements would then become something like: “Offer cup, Pour, Connect with mouth and imbibe, Repeat and Forget about ever being successful with women.”

Super time, mega fast, err, supersonic in-play…
Apparently the tech for in-play betting isn’t fast enough and punters are so keen on a bet that the industry should be providing “Super time in-play”. So what’s next, having a punt on whether Andy Murray’s next shot will or won’t go over the net or perhaps betting in-play on when George Osborne is going to blink next between words during this Budget speech… where will it end? It probably won’t but one thing’s for sure, if 170 Swedes had a few Kroner on Suarez biting an opponent in this year’s World Cup, anything’s possible.

In other news, the Diary launches its own version of Google Translate…

  • 87 professional footballers in the French league face suspected betting breaches = is that all?
  • UK government asks GBGA for more time to respond = we will never respond and hope they forget.
  • PokerStars head of social leaves company = we’re not going to replace him.
  • Stars HQ to remain on the Isle of Man = we might have sold the business but we ain’t goin’ anywhere!

Have a good weekend!